{Why'd you have to be so clueless?.

20090811

8/11/2009 10:12:00 PM

I sang this to the sky last night...

伯樂 - 林宥嘉

爱你的那一个想你的那一个
谁才是你爱情中的伯乐
放弃了这一个然后等待著下一个
最后哪一个让你最舍不得

感谢不能让别人来说
你给过我的　她们是做不到的
那时候的幸福是真的　虽然过去了
我们也都经历了

释怀教育著仇恨　和平劝著天下人
故事发生便住下了　不管好的坏的
你让我成长了　就算是痛得值得

爱你的那一个　想你的那一个
谁才是你爱情中的伯乐
放弃了这一个　然后等待著下一个
一个个过客过得快不快乐

爱你的那一个　想你的那一个
谁才是你爱情中的伯乐
放弃了这一个　然后等待著下一个
别太多过客祝你早日快乐
离开时别忘了　看看眼前的人
流泪记住了　还是微笑祝福著

I hope someone somewhere would hear me. So I sang it again, hoping that she wouldn't return... I believe that everything that happens, happens for a reason. I had chosen my path, and that I should have already expected all to have ended in this manner. I've granted the ones whom I loved and perhaps still do... the happiness and freedom to decide, yet I was left without an escape route from the self-afflicted disaster scenes. I hoped for a better life for them, a better future and a better piece of mind. In return for my wish, I had chosen this crummy flower named 'wilted joy'. It's beautiful in its existence; more of a figment of memory that had actually retained its beauty.

I have sought ways and means to understand happiness and its source after your departure; a flower that looked so dead yet alive. I sensed its sadness and its will to survive, hence deciding to nurse it back to health. I planted it in a tiny ceramic pot and placed it against the aclove where rays of sunlight could shine upon it. Hours passed, days flew by... the wilted joy never showed signs of life at all. I grew weary... totally drained from the stuffiness of my world - I wondered why.

The nights seemed really long. I stared into the starry night sky, only to be accompanied by rainclouds. Granted, a few pills should do the job; so I slept.

The nights seemed really long. I stared at the wilted flower, only to recall the past that no longer existed. Granted, a few pills should do the job; so I slept.

The nights seemed really long. I closed my eyes to rest, only to see her smiling sweetly at me again. Granted... a few more pills should do the job; I slept on.

The nights seemed really long. I hugged my pillow and felt how chilly I've become, only to miss that warmth and security I once had. Granted, I need those pills; I slumbered.

The nights seemed really long. I had already taken my pills tonight, only to realise that all those memories worsened my condition. Granted, more pills please; I fainted on my table.

The nights seemed terribly long. I stayed up all night staring at the screen, only to find that she has yet to unblock me. Granted, I shouldn't overdose myself... more pills went down my throat. I couldn't sleep.

The nights became horrific. I took pills and slept with ease, only to awake from her departure and my tears. Granted, I daren't sleep any longer.

The nights never improved. I ran in my sleep, only to realise that there was no escape. Granted, I stayed awake.

The nights were nights no longer. I never slept in my sleep, always running, always trying to get out of your grasp that seemed to restrain me so deeply, only to return to see you in despair... I stopped running.

My head's spinning from your delusion. I never faltered, and I never shall. For my love for you has never failed, just as I would never give up upon my life. I am the 'wilted joy'. I was planted for you; I gave you a chance to renew your life of joy and passion; I never complained.

But do not falter, for I must apologise for all that you've read. You must go now - go past the fields of green that aren't tainted with blight. Leave me here, I'll survive on rotting earth, so set your mind at ease. Do not let my efforts go to waste. Never turn back.

It's time for me to run again - to run away from you. Goodnight.