The Plot Thickens...
Hmm.. i.. don't know. haha.. just a few minutes ago, someone i used to talk to during my council days tried to ask of a favor from me.. haha.. she contacted me just to ask me of a favor.. how pathetic. humans.. pathetic.. including.. me.
I met this childhood friend yesterday.. we chatted for the whole evening (and.. i don't really talk much.. she just managed to filled up most of the silence within me)... haha.. and.. our parents also chatted for the whole duration as well. Well-mannered, polite, kind.. there was nothing else i could ask for.. she was like the best there is (at least my mom thinks so).
Perhaps it could be me who's fabricating stories.. (since i've always been living in my own world.. whether if it was with you or whatnot.. but.. but.. this person woke me up..) Finally i see that someone is able to criticise humans as much as i do.. All humans are pathetic.. except the bunch of family that we are surrounded with.. (the fact that you didn't stand up and fight alongside with me.. it meant that you were weak.. and i merely didn't want to force you any further..) Love is like a game of decisions.. 1 mistake and it's gone forever. To tell you the truth.. i knew that repristination will never happen, and even if it did, I wouldn't be able to trust you anymore.. because you failed me. (It was a test for you.. because i know.. that my future will be fraught with many troubles.. and if you weren't strong enough.. i guess you'd probably run away and leave me dying.. haha..)
I'm not comparing people. That childhood friend of mine.. she has a similar background as i do.. how much have you gone thru? how much after effects did you suffer? will you know? no.. She was firm with her beliefs at a very young age.. just like i was. Because i had nothing to lose... IT WAS BECAUSE I HAD NOTHING TO LOSE AT ALL.. (you shouldn't have considered so many factors.. because it all led to our failure to preserve that relationship)
I seem to be using my blog to communicate with you.. haha.. fine.. i shall break the promise of the 9 months thingy i imposed 3 months ago. But then again.. would you want to hear everything instead of reading them? i'm unsure.. I hate to see people cry.. so dun make me.
I want to test you on something.. i believe i haven't asked you this personality test..
If there's a horse out in the meadows.. and a storm strikes.. what will the horse do?
Be honest.. because i'd expect you to say that the horse would run away. If it doesn't then you'd be lying. This test basically tells how you'd react in times of troubles with your partner.
Am i right? the horse would run away... but mine wouldn't.. i stood by you, i assured you that nothing would happen.. you just kept pouring that bucket of water on me.. making me look bad in front of your parents.. hahaa.. but that's alright.. because.. i'm finally free enough to seek dreams of the morrow. I hope you would be freed from the misery you caused for yourself.
Is that sarcasm from me? all humans are pathetic... i won't want you to be one.. so please read.. and after you read.. please be prepared.. for a surprise coming your way. (that would.. perhaps be my last surprise for you..)
oh.. and if you were wondering why i took so long to come up with this post (approx 3 months rite? since the separation..) I was waiting.. waiting for you to say something.. i was trying to give you a second chance.. to say something..
Did you know? I've been thinking of you all this while? yes.. but how about you? How many times have i treaded upon your blog read about me within your entries? barely 50% of them..
And then you might say that i'm childish, writing all this crap.. but who cares? i can be.. very childish.. because.. i don't know where's my childhood.. I don't know.. haha.. but it doesn't matter to you anyway.. since we would be talking on the phone sometime soon.. for what? to sort out some other issues such as outprocessing and chapter closing.
It's high time i ended my existence within you (or perhaps it has already been fading away silently... haha.. dun lie to me..)
I did everything for you.. and i'm making the same mistake.. because i'm too nice. haha.. hahahaha.. we'll be talking soon enough yea? ciaoz..
