{Why'd you have to be so clueless?.

20090308

3/08/2009 10:27:00 PM

"They aren't back to haunt me and they never will."

Or at least that's what I told myself. Or rather, that's what I believed.

Then again, beliefs can never block off the memories that were etched so deeply in time; I regret that our friendship had sunk with titanic.

If only, I could just return to the past - to thwart history - I don't mind shortening my life expectancy. Perhaps life's what it should be, and that I've got no authority over myths that were created for a reason.

All hope is lost I guess... I want this to end... Yet, I'm unable to look at that dress. I can't bring myself to do so. I don't wish to remember. I'm resorting to escapism.

I'll do it; I'll get rid of it. Soon enough, I'll start anew. It's been 2 months now. 2 months... For 2 months, I've been trying to pick up the pieces; for 2 months... I've lingered... without a sense of direction; merely a false image to portray my (physical) existence.

I've stopped writing... I wish to start soon.. I can't write... because I can't find a direction to do so. How'd you feel if you read something that would confuse you in its attempt to convince?

***

I want my lemonade.