{Why'd you have to be so clueless?.

20090101

1/01/2009 12:33:00 AM

A year has ended and another comes along... and soon enough it will end and repeat its cycle.
That would and will never happen to the both of us... I don't want any endings, hence denying new beginnings... I just want to protect our memories, so that we'd be able to laugh, cry, frown or etc about them when we've conceded to the ends of time.

Most important of all, all these little arguments that we may have had... to tell you the truth, I'm afraid of them... because I'm so afraid to lose you again... Even when I've made the stupidest mistakes like those (shan't write it here... but you know it very well...), I've always felt so guilty after which, because I've made you feel upset about what I've done.

My only talent is that of writing. Hence, prolly the 2nd best gift that I can leave with you are my words that are dedicated to you.

As pure as white would remain;
As mysterious as silver would portray;
As time would make all colours evanescent -

My love for you shall remain simple and complete;
My love for you would prove itself unblemished;
My love for you is perpetual.

Then you must be wondering why I can no longer leave you the best of me before I go. The reason is pretty simple... because you already have it with you.

And that 'it' is my devotion towards you. It's my dedication to your smile. I may have asked many unnecessary questions this morning, and could've caused you some unnecessary worries... Yet, I'm so dreadfully honest when I'm with you, I'd prolly be unable to hide any of my thoughts from you (other than those that are meant to surprise you).

That's what makes you so special to me... you're not just any partner out there whom many would just love and let love guide them through their relationship. You're a pal to me; a very sweet one too.

There are just so many instances in this society that require me to speak my mind, and that I chose not to. Yet I'm able to share all of my thoughts... even when they're in bits and pieces, you'd be there to string up all these fragments and present them the way I want it to be said. You understood my intentions in life... you understood my way of life and are willing to grab hold of this feeble hand of mine while guiding me out of my darkness.

Yet... I'm still so silent when I'm with you on those... seemingly short hours.

Did you know? That when I held you in my arms, I felt really peaceful and protected?
Did you know? That there are just some stuff that can never be described with words?
Did you know? That I wished time would just stop for those few hours where we spent together?
Did you know? That I'm not that strong after all?

But of course, I'll remain strong as long as I have you by my side.
I used to be driven by my hatred towards this world,
and all it takes is just ONE you... to show me that this world isn't that cruel after all..
All it takes is just ONE you... to love me as much as I would for you...
All it takes is just ONE you... to prove my existence on this planet...
All it takes is just ONE you... to brave through thick and thin with me (even though I might end up shielding all the 'thicks' for you...).

I don't want to return to whom I was before... especially when I'm no longer walking this road alone. In truth, I've never expected anything from you, since day 1... All I wanted then, was to maintain that ever graceful and charming smile that you had hung on that adorable face of yours.

***

I love her to bits.. haha..
Someone who calls and drags my name with her voice...
Someone who calls me a sillyboy.
Someone who calls me by my alternate identity.
and..
Someone who knows and loves the inner me.