{Why'd you have to be so clueless?.

20090128

1/28/2009 12:19:00 AM

Facts are facts... someone special was born today, 19 years ago.

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words are words, figures are figures, emotions are just stuff that lie between them both.

Now that I'm using figures to state my wishes.. it only means one thing... I'm dead serious about something, something that... perhaps you may or may not wish to decipher with numbers or riddles.. whatever the case, don't worry, you won't be hurt by me, just stay safe from the rest of the world...

Friend.. it's a new word to me, I'm really trying to register it, to internalize it... perhaps... someday, someone will help me understand... that this world, has friends who'd really BE a friend.

Trust... no one -- trust... is a weapon... that one might use against you. Do you trust me? I doubt so... I doubt it... considering.. the many equations to today.. I'm doubting everything.

At least... I locked my emotions safely away, I'd never doubted how I felt back then. I never doubted you back then... but now... I doubt everyone. No one can be trusted... you'd understand one day... when it's your turn to feel this way.. perhaps you might remember me... perhaps you might not.

I'm only a figment of your memories... I'm only, a fragment of trust that's misplaced; I'm only... a minute shard... a shrapnel, that'll only cause you harm if you'd continue to try to pluck it off you..

My advice...

Wait for your wound to heal, once it does... if you'd ever be able to pull it out... pull it out.
Or.. if you decide that it should stick with you, don't push it deeper into your flesh -- still pull it out, polish it to shine, then make a new chain out of it...

old ones get rusty over time.

I want my chain renewed -- that means, renewed trust, renewed truth, renewed friendship, renewed relationship... etc etc.. That's your job. I've untied my end of the knot, it's your turn.