{Why'd you have to be so clueless?.

20080612

6/12/2008 08:53:00 PM

So many people are dying off these days... i wonder when would it be my turn. And as i continue to type in this ever relaxed manner, more people are being reaped by the dark scythe; life seems so much of a boredom to take.

Have you read? HAVE YOU READ THE NEWS? hmm.. haha.. hahahahaa.. i believe that the revenge has only just begun.

tsk tsk.. why am i writing all these.. but the truth is there.. lesser people alive.. lesser people to take my place.. More people will know that i exist.. but why? Why do i write?

Why do i keep writing... why am i writing.. i love to write.. why should i stop writing then? no.. i stopped for a pretty long while. Who's at fault... me.. me.. me.. me.. me..... haha.. hahaha.. HAHAAHAHA MEEEEMEMEMEMMEMEEMME!!!

"always me..."

You think i'm insane? You really think i'm insane? What makes you think so? and.. why? Am i supposed to be sane in your eyes?? If i'm insane.. then everyone else would be as well.. haha.. hahahaha.. EVERYONE ELSE!!

I no longer write sense.. I want to write sense. but.. I guess, it's nonsense... my memories? NONSENSE!! I don't remember.. what do i want to remember? why do i recall? why do i feel remorseful.. because it's my fault.. i.. killed.. myself...

He wanted to call you so much. but i stopped him.. hahahahaa.. because he's killing me, and humans are selfish by nature.. aren't they? I merely followed how humans behave.. because he's one.

what 'dreams of the morrow shall unfold'? All BULLSHIT!! I've written nothing but junk.. Repristination is just a dream. There was never a chance to return to its original state. I told him so many times.. it was a dream.. and it'll always be. I speak nothing but the truth. I despise humans. Yet he fell in love with one.

Shall i count? Count the number of times i had destroyed myself? Who are you? I don't know you... I was the one who decided to hermitize myself. I do not want to be influenced by that lovelorn freak i've just murdered.

"Still and stagnant lay the soul to be eaten;
Ravaged and ripped were memories that drifted."
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He's calling out to you now.. he misses you. Yet you can only see me.. reeking with the scent of blood that had dematerialized long ago.. my blood.. hahahaha.. Can you feel my pain?

no.. not at all. i know.. i know that after writing this post.. it's over between us. hahaa.. is it.. ahahaaha.. i'll tell you why... because you said.. a crack cannot be mended regardless of how you try to make it look good.. the crack will still REMAIN. That struck me.. When he was mindlessly living in his world blinded by love, i realised... that i'm still that perfectionist. How can i trust again?

As a friend maybe.. as a friend.. if i can trust you again.. just a friend. Because i believe.. i'm not worthy of you with this wicked character of mine... he was fictional. Someone that i created just for you. You don't know me... no one does. Even i was tricked by love.. well done.. hahaaaa.. well done..