{Why'd you have to be so clueless?.

20080103

1/03/2008 09:34:00 PM

New year.. (the fact that i should've written this earlier and i didn't..)

Ok.. now what's in for me for 2008.. Look.. firstly, i've got myself tangled (for 22 months) into National Service due to my gender (that of course, would signify that i'm a male homosapien..). Nothing much.. I haven't been feeling much about starting new routines or whatnots.. I didn't feel anything about entering primary school, and neither were there any emotions that were present when i left it. Same goes for entering and leaving Secondary education as well as college.. I FEEL NOTHING..

(Why is it that many others feel so stressed and paranoid about the new environment? I mean, new environments are meant for adaptation, no?)

Perhaps they just can't adapt to it, i guess.. It might seem as though this strategy of mine would be the best tool for me to get past National Service. Not revealing it, lest people might have the ability to do what i've planned to do.

2008.. tigress.. no.. I know what's going on here. And i'm not going to let anything stand in my way. I've found the truth.. so i must seek it. It's now or never. I've decided to just leave my tigress to her life and just.. leave her.. out of her life. Because.. I know that i'm harming her, and i can't let that happen. I just can't. She'll be happier without me. I know it.. I just know it. Don't ask me why.. If you're really interested in knowing why, then put yourself in my position.

that's all i'd say about tigress.. now.. moving on.. (have i changed? yes, i have, and it's a must for me to do so.. in order to protect myself..)

2008.. People are meant to be cycled around. If you can't seem to communicate with someone whom you haven't invested much upon, you dump them. (I understand that i'm offending a few, if not many people by writing this, but hey, that's a blatant fact and you can't deny it.)
There are others who deserve more care and concern than some who don't even appreciate what you offer to them.

Remember this.. "Every relationship is a transaction; there's no such thing as free lunch."

We invest, we reap, and we enjoy the harvest.
We hold back, we wait for reciprocation, we enjoy that frustration that they suffer.
Or do we?

(I would.. if i could, i would. And so i am.)

I know what i'm looking for. I'll strive for it. Even if it has to take away my ideals, it shall be a beneficial transaction on both parties..