{Why'd you have to be so clueless?.

20071214

12/14/2007 11:37:00 PM

something happened, something's not right.. But i shan't talk about it.. it's my problem anyways.. (and i'd most likely have solved it by the time i finish writing out this post..).. So don't bother.. (if you did..)

"The skies are gray.. but my heart still remains warm in this cold-blooded figurine.. and i really wonder why.."

Well.. there is a logical explanation for that.. eg.. The skies are gray would mean that the weather is cold. And that if the weather is cold, your body would naturally turn colder if it doesn't produce sufficient heat to maintain thermal equilibrium. But of course, the heart would remain warm in order to maintain the body temperature.. Sigh.. me and my rational mind..

But seriously now.. Don't you find it really simple to understand? A kind heart behind a rather cool and collected composure in the midst of obstacles.. Oh well, nevermind, perhaps i was just doing too much of that self-analysis thing..

Life's boring.. If i didn't have someone to think about everyday (my tigress), i'd prolly be in the mortuary any minute now.. The cause of death would likely be that of a suicidal act..

Life's really boring.. If i didn't have something to think about everyday (perhaps the problems that would plague my most trusted friend for now..), i'd prolly be in a mental institute teaching the other mental patients about Pride and Prejudice.. *chuckle*.. fancy laughing at my own lameness (not physically though.. just lame..)

I have ALMOST everything.. I've got cash, luxurious living, and perhaps a few loving pets to keep me company.. but there's one simple thing that i do not have.. And that is LOVE.. which will inevitably lead to me not to have happiness either.. I can be alone, i'm fine with being alone. The main problem is.. i can't even be left alone.. not because of love, but because it's slavery.. no.. i shouldn't be writing this. haa.. the walls have ears.. Then there's the scheme to delete my blog address from the desktop.. Yep. i'll do just that.

Without tigress and my true friend, my life would've ended long ago.. As in.. perhaps.. i won't be me.. I won't be here typing all of this.. gratifying content. I would be using this blog to disseminate despair? Or would i be using this blog to start a new cult? I'll never know what i'm capable of due to schizophrenia..

***

Sigh.. another without any contact with my tigress.. Her com went down.. I wonder if i can fix it for her. I just wish to see her.. be it just for a short while.. even if it's just a "hello and bubye..", that'll be just fine.. It's good enough for me.. for i know that she's well. I trust that she wouldn't hide her true self from me as there isn't a need for it. And even if she does.. she's not the type who'd do so.. (all due to those expressions..)

I sound as if i'm madly in love with her.. well, admittably, i'd say yes.. even if she doesn't realise it, i'd still say yes.. even if she doesn't realise it after whatever that i'll be busy with soon, i'd still still still say yes.. Otherwise.. why'd i be pining for her every picosecond.. I feel lucky that i can do that for her.. gosh.. this is getting so.. not me..

--End.. for now