{Why'd you have to be so clueless?.

20071213

12/13/2007 11:17:00 PM

Today.. someone baked cookies for me.. how sweet.. (gosh.. imma guinea pig..) I went out with that someone.. brought that someone to a place she liked.. and of course, she was happy. My job today was to cheer her up.. and to solve her problem. (the her is not my tigress here.. i'm just helping a friend in need, so don't be jealous, my tigress..). We had some alcohol as well.. and i got drunk.. (of which i hardly do.. unless.. i've got problems of my own.. maybe i must've been sad.. to such an extent that i'm no longer able to feel it..).. Seriously, I feel so.. natural when i'm drunk.. as though i've lost my composure..

No matter how i try to find a solution for her, i'm still unable to figure a strategy that would help her out in a way such that i don't cause much destruction.. but of course, judgment has never been a peaceful thing.. In tarot, it's a card where either the people rejoice when the heavens praise them.. OR a card where the heaven forsakes the people, hence making them dejected.

Savants.. I want to be one.. i need to be one, i need to solve this problem. I need to figure things out. But savants.. it's not worth being one, or is it? To lose the ability to write or speak.. or to.. walk.. just for the sake of a powerful mind, it isn't worth it.. so i might not want to be one.. No, i won't want to be one..

Thinking.. thinking.. thinking.. and at the same time, i miss my tigress... haven't talked to her today.. might message her via sms later.