Life is ever-changing. I never expected to meet a friend in metro paragon today. neither did i expect to find myself a new friend at an i-shop while i was getting myself an iPod Nano. This is what that makes life so... mysterious and merciless, yet so simple and filled with flunctuations.
"Have more confidence in humans..." My heart said so. I should listen to it and put a stop to my hatred. Within this short period of 2 months which passed by without notice, I've met people whom i would consider friends. Those whom i can trust, whom i can talk to, as well as those whom i might have taken a special liking towards (pls do not infer anything here... i'm just stating my thoughts, nothing else).
2006 was a hell of a ride. I've been through the worst of almost everything. The worst of health, the worst of emotions, the worst of relationships, the worst of office terms, the worst of foes, the worst of betrayal, and of course, the worst of whatever that i couldn't think of at the moment. Nonetheless, I'll always remember that i was happy for myself in succeeding in my studies, in succeeding in being a modal student, in succeeding in being a filial son (well.. not too sure about that, i can't judge myself, but well, I AM a good boy afterall.. hehe).
I made mistakes, and no, i shan't give myself any excuses for them. Instead, i want to correct my mistakes through compensation. I believe in equivalence remember? I believe i'll make up for my mistakes someday. Even though at times, i'm not the person at fault, i guess... i'd still help them make up for it by being a better person to them (even though i know it's hard, i'd still want to try).
November and December of 2006 were the best months ever. I never knew how happiness can be generated through a bunch of people whom i declared as friends. Neither will i ever find out from them how it's done. haha.. it's not because i'm proud or being a know-it-all... it's just that, everyone is different, thus if happiness was to be taught by them, then it wouldn't have been pure...
As in, it'd be happiness that's fabricated with a smile and a few jokes. That's plainly what i'd call manipulative happiness. You feel happy because of this group of people and thus you'd follow them in whatever they do just to be happy... that's wrong. Thus, it's suggested that you find the happiness within you, retain that very bit of your character and blend into the rest of the characters around you. That'll eventually form the pure essence of happiness. Of course, it does sound very simple in terms of speech and that even i can't seem to do it... haha.. but yeah, that's a principle that i'm following for now until i find the essence of happiness.
My heart really hurt quite a lot for 2006... and now that i see a clearer picture of everything, i feel that i had been wasting my time on those people whom i had put in effort to maintain the friendship or relationship. Nope, i shan't waste my time on them anymore, once bitten, twice shy.
2006 had also taught me many lessons... when you're in love, give more than you should (be a donor), even if you know that you'd be hurt deeper than the other party... as long as you had that experience, it's all worthwhile (it hurts for a period of time, but after all that, as you remininsce those scenes, you'll find that you didn't lose anything at all, in fact, it's the other party who lost you.)
"Ok, i'm not consoling myself here, but really, at the very least, i know that it's the truth from my personal experience"
Love is blind, but it has a wonderful aura that'll protect a person from illnesses and failures that were destined to strike. It is ever beautiful. It brings about determination to the weaker ones, courage will surface even in the timid-est of all creatures. Love is also destined, if you'd ever feel that you like someone, it was actually arranged earlier by someone we do not know. I do not believe in any higher being. However, i believe that somehow, our life is just like a novel. It has a beginning and an ending, just as there might be events that begin and end somehow or somewhat.
Sigh... Choices are also rather bothersome.. haha.. but i shan't blog too much tonight. Have a happy new year, my readers! Hope that 2007 will be a fruitful year for all of us.
