She was just so beautiful, but whatever.
Went to sentosa today, built my very first COMPLETE sandcastle... I'll always remember that every single visit to the beach were with my family. And... I was never able to build even the first wall of my sandcastle due to time constraints and difference in interests. I've always wanted to build what i built today, so.. it was kind of a design that i thought of 10 years back. Now i finally done it. That was my dream.. haha.. to build a sandcastle. Guess no one else would be willing to spend 4 hours under the hot sun to build a sandcastle. Perhaps they even think i'm stupid to do so.. but well, who cares...
Other than that, we played several games of captain's ball with that volleyball... how weird.. but it was really tiring. The game was somehow a little too quick. Once any team possesses the ball, that team will win for that match. sigh.. you can apply Nash Equilibria here if you want. I won't explain much, go wikipedia and look it up yourself.
I didn't go into the water, the rest did. Seems like i won the bet... someone said he'd get me down into the water.. but he didn't even try.. too bad. As we progress later towards the evening, the gals went to dip in the water... i was strolling along the beach.. looking for flat stones. Well, all i found were several rocks that WERE inhabited by corals and whatever. They had all died due to dehydration. So.. in any case, even as humans, we wouldn't want to die in a foreign land right? So i decided to send these poor deceased creatures back into the ocean. I threw them with all my might, such that it would reach somewhere further away from the shore so as to prevent them from being washed up again. Perhaps some people might think that i was just bored... but, if they had seen things from a different angle, maybe they would understand.
While i was doing so, i walked past the group of gals. Somehow... I think i overheard some stuffs. "It's not that........... he's just a loner......" that's all i heard, and i don't wish to jump to conclusions, so.. i didn't give a damn. Actually, i wanted so much for someone to come to me to initiate a chat, but, well, it doesn't matter anymore.
Actually, there was this thought that came to my mind while strolling along that beach... What if a tsunami struck at that point in time at that location? What would i have done? Would i have been selfish and run for my life? Or would i rush over to ensure that she was safe first? haha.. The answer... if you've been reading all my posts, it's rather obvious on what i would do.
We went for dinner after that at Seah Iun Hawker Centre (opp harbourfront building). Just outside the hawker centre, I saw this ice cream man sitting there in a corner. I can feel it, his boredom, his fatigue... I sympathise him. So, i went over to him and asked if i could have an ice cream that's wrapped with bread. The moment he heard that, the moment he saw my smile, he sort of brightened up. Somehow or somewhat, he was finally noticed by the many passersby, and he was feeling great about it. I didn't know such a small gesture by me could brighten up someone's day. haha...
"You very childish leh! I didn't know you behaved so childish(ly)...", one of the gals said.
I replied, "I've been like this all along, it's just that all of you didn't take the time to know me."
There it was again, I stumped her, silence filled the atmosphere of the table of 3. After which, she asked, "Why are you always so expressionless?"
And i replied, "Because i'm already dead." And there it was again... the silence. haha.. how fun.
Sigh, I started taking out all my receipts i stored in my wallet. For each and everyone of them, i folded a paper crane. That was what she taught me, and i'll never forget it. I used to wonder, what life really is for someone whose emotions are already dead. Now i know the truth. I know how it feels now. Seriously, you guys should try it, it's quite a unique experience.
And.. finally, MY PARENTS READ MY BLOG!! I'm so happy, cos by reading the blog, they're actually accessing into my world through the backdoor to check things out. Ok.. whatever. At least they cared. What about all of you out there? All of you who didn't give a damned when i was in need of help? tch.. now i don't... I'm already dead, so why help a dead person?
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I'm predicting many things at this point in time, the actions that everyone who practically knows me and reading the blog at the same time... Some might give up, some might take this as a challenge, some might want to prove themselves, and some might think that they already know me well enough. well? Conclusion, try harder... the happenings today hasn't given me any hope in rekindling any trust in anyone. When will i find someone who truly understands me? that is really something that i wish to predict. haha.. I shall get smarter.
"Man should be punished for their misdeeds, and fair judgement shall be passed upon them. I await to see the end. I await to step into a brilliant world where only pure people reside; People who CAN be trusted."
